The Teenage Dirtbag Years
So there i used to be, roysh, type legend, colleges rugby legend, primarily all-round legend, whilst anyone makes a decision you can't, like, take a seat the Leaving Cert 4 occasions. good that placed a focking spanner within the works.
But becoming a member of the goys in school wasn't the mare i assumed it might be, essentially for, like, 3 significant purposes: beer, ladies and extra girls. And for as soon as I consider Fionn in regards to the, like, schooling probabilities. I suggest, the place else are you able to find out about pass judgement on Judy, laminating pretend IDs and, like, the right way to order a Ken and snog a woman on the similar time?
I can be attractive, roysh, yet I'm no longer silly and this a lot I completely understand: collage focking rocks.
Paul Howard is helping Ross O'Carroll-Kelly to put in writing his autobiographical sequence, now including 4 titles, principally simply because Ross can't fairly write, roysh? discover extra at http://www.obrien.ie/ross.
He is usually the writer of the bestselling felony reveal, the enjoyment, and co-author of Celtic Warrior, the autobiography of boxer Steve Collins.
A former activities Journalist of the yr, Paul coated the area Cup in Japan and Korea in 2002, and the rugby international Cup in Australia in 2003, for the newspaper. His account of the Irish football squad, The Gaffers, Mick McCarthy, Roy Keane and the workforce they outfitted, was once a bestseller in autumn 2002.
The funniest ebook of the year.
I don't regard the musings of O'Carroll-Kelly as being primarily humourous. I regard them as directly reportage, journalism of a truly excessive order, which holds up a replicate to a lifestyle, an entire breed of men...
Declan Lynch, Sunday Independent
'Whether you like him or hate him, The Teenage Dirtbag Years can have you coming again for more.'
Erica Walsh, Trinity News
‘In The Teenage Dirtbag Years our dim rugger-bugger anti-hero explores third-level schooling. This lad makes Beavis and Butthead appear like Harvard graduates.’
Ferdia MacAnna, Sunday Independent
'Howard is the writer of a superb account of lifestyles in Mountjoy and is the comedian voice for the following decade.'
Eoghan Corry, Andersonstown information
Going, How the fock do i am getting out of this one? Heidi appears to be like at me and is going, ‘Hi, Ross,’ and Georgia, roysh, sensing one other fowl relocating in on her patch, she sits beside me at the sofa, or kind of, like, flops down, she’s that off her titties, and he or she hyperlinks my orm and Heidi – who i need to say is admittedly taking a look rather well – she is going, ‘Oh, I see you’ve moved on, Ross.’ I’m particularly well-on myself at this degree and that i can hordly string a sentence jointly, it should be stated. i am going, ‘That’s roysh,.
Sally-focking-noggin the following, that are going for 2 hundred grand. all the women pass, ‘OH! MY! GOD!’ and the entire goys cross, ‘Crazy shit,’ other than me simply because I’m purely kind of, like, half-listening. Erika is sitting contrary me, roysh, and she’s taking a look beautiful striking i need to say, with that, like, everlasting scowl on her face, that’s what Fionn calls it – an everlasting scowl. despatched her a textual content message the opposite evening and it was once like, U R my fantaC. C U l8r, yet she didn’t solution it, don’t comprehend if.
Birds putting round our desk and shit and it’s like the evening we gained the Senior Cup, other than they’re truly wrecking our heads a section simply because this could be, like, an evening for the goys. And I’m simply pretty well savouring this second, roysh, simply because it’s just a topic of time ahead of the goys discover I’m going to be taking part in opposed to Castlerock subsequent week and that i get the sensation that issues are going to alter. the second one Oisinn arrives, it’s certainly going to be a case of ditch the bitches.
See,’ and he is going, ‘I imagine you must take a seat and re-examine no matter if you’re fascinated about a profession in activities administration or not,’ and I’m simply there, ‘Get actual, will you?’ I primarily didn’t supply a fock, roysh, simply because I knew i used to be going to need to repeat besides and abruptly I’ve received, like, 8 hundred debts in my pocket and it’s, like, funds for outdated rope. a few knobs from Ag. technological know-how have been really doing it first, roysh, yet Oisinn is going as much as them within the bor – they have been, like, taking part in.
file, I’m afraid to assert, Ross, or particularly, not anything confident. What i will inform you is that during a healthy of what i will basically describe as pique, with a capital P besides, Maureen – lippy little madam from money owed – went out the day prior to this and acquired a kettle and 4 huge drums of Nescafé Gold mixture. They have been sitting there, Ross, at the draining-board within the canteen, brazen as you love, while I glided by there on Tuesday morning. Gold mix, thanks greatly certainly. ‘All the ladies from money owed have been in.