The Sugar Frosted Nutsack: A Novel
excessive above the bustling streets of Dubai, within the world's tallest and most magnificent skyscraper, stay the gods and goddesses of the trendy international. due to the fact they emerged 14 billion years in the past from a bus blaring a track remarkably just like the Mister Softee jingle, they have wreaked mischief and havoc on mankind. not able to manage their jealousies, the gods have splintered into a number of factions, led by way of the immortal enemies XOXO, Shanice, l. a. Felina, Fast-Cooking Ali, and multi-millionaire Magoo. Ike Karton, an unemployed butcher from New Jersey, is their present obsession.
Ritualistically recited through a forged of drug-addled bards, THE SUGAR FROSTED NUTSACK is Ike's epic tale. A raucous story of gods and males confronting lust, ambition, dying, and the everlasting verities, it's a wildly enjoyable, wickedly quick gambol during the unmapped corridors of the mind's eye.
included into the epic The Sugar Frosted Nutsack and dutifully transmitted from iteration to iteration of chanting, drug-addled, blind “severed bard-heads” who continue their trance-inducing beat via banging their chunky chachkas opposed to steel jerrycans of orange soda? An infinitely recursive epic that subtends and engulfs every little thing approximately it (i.e., every little thing extrinsic to it), and that has, for tens of hundreds of thousands of years, at any given second, been topic to the impish and occasionally.
much more ache than our personal own grief for our personal fathers.…Do you recognize what I suggest? Does that make any experience? CALLER i admire you. in the event that your spouse ever leaves you for a vagrant, drug-addled bard, I’ll be ready. actual HUSBAND (cuing Foreigner’s “Waiting for a woman Like You”) She’s already left me for a vagrant drug-addled bard. There’s an extended pause…like an eternity…and then…nothing. It’s occasionally stated that, the following, for a second, the area disappears, that there’s a fade to natural.
received enormous help between a variety of renowned humans, together with TMZ’s Harvey Levin, forensic pathologist Cyril Wecht, felony security legal professional Mark Geragos, seashore volleyball participant Misty May-Treanor. sooner than the imbibing of Gravy, ritual protocol required the recitation of a sacred oath, after which the visitor might clink his golden chalice opposed to that of his divine host and solemnly ask, “You gonna shoot that or sip it?” There are approximately fourteen Weight Watchers issues.
In a half-cup serving of the wealthy hallucinogenic beverage. Smokable Gravy—made by way of heating liquid Gravy and baking soda till small pinkish-white precipitates (“rocks”) form—is extra speedy absorbed into the bloodstream, achieving the mind in approximately 8 seconds. (Side results can comprise: Progeria, Necrotizing Fasciitis, Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy, Craniopagus Twins, Elephantiasis of the Testicles, Projectile Anal Hemorrhaging, and Gangrene of the Eyeballs.) Yagyu—a God who used to be additionally.
Have constantly maintained that what you name the epic is the an important query. Is it The Sugar Frosted Nutsack? Is it The Ballad of the Severed Bard-Head ? Is it T.S.F.N.? And, at one element, close to the finale, swilling Scotch and swinging his bat at flitting nano-drones, Ike calls out “XOXO!” as though that have been the identify of the epic: Trotzdem schrie Ike noch aus aller kraft den namen, der identify donnerte durch die Nacht. (“Nevertheless, with complete strength, Ike shouted out the identify, the identify thundered via.